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Light Headed

by Not

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1.
light headed 05:26
with my head held down to the light stretch the shadows up the walls hint the letters above fainting spells there in the courtyard nothing to hold looking around like a foal in the field of the stones the image starts to align the hanging man seen from the side trading his limbs clockwise throwing the night rise from the fountain! quartered and drawn mouth the motion of the dawn
2.
feed me the answers but make them wrong so no one knows they're not my own fold it in pocket, hold it close two sided die to bet your love: every move you make, i make twice. and i can't tell it lands where it likes. it only matters when i'm alone lay sideways in a pose roll slowly down the line two sided die to bet your love: every move you make, i make twice. and i can't tell it lands where it likes.
3.
stylite 01:55
---
4.
day through sky from sun straight lines finds grey cannot hide the great sight from trained eyes brought out to show them the humble spectacle an apparition elephant standing on a ball shape without size caught between spotlights and when it stops nothing's changed the blind saint without shame his eyes revolving they capture not at all the apparition of a elephant standing on a ball
5.
running slow around the corner on edges of a torn borrowed vision up ahead, around the corner up ahead someday, someday now we'll meet like faces in the rain someday, someday now our faces look the same humming low across the hillside the old light tilting lightly above up ahead, and around the corner
6.
(the sound of rain) seen through the stable the senile god the pulsing breeze marks the spot lie awake in a bed of fate he makes it known, that he will make it known he makes it known like motion, inevitable act remote in the abscess of faith
7.
silvery 03:30
as it burns, observe cold close the source, slowly shown. home in chains shutters wide, door swung blind old and trained to run from the start of... as the limbs spread, collapse in controlled falls moments posed locked outside, the moon is a watch with wreckless time fractured lines tracing blind in endless parting lines.
8.
guard 01:48
finding a place to sit watching the angels spit there's a nowhere to go if you want it but there's no way ahead the road is guarded no one knows where it led.
9.
fire alarm 04:29
shall we? turning towards the light, float down the hallway clicking heel to the siren song a one way when we saw the end it was a straight line two eyes in front of your head so when that old smoke stack starts to glow watch out if you're the first one to know and i'll try, but i can't seem to find it in my foolish eyes still high and dancing to the fire alarm like a stupid child they don't tell you when it's time to go perfect centered in a single file forward silent step focus towards emergence of another word for liberation that when i said it fell out, dead as a rabbit still when i look back it's hard to know know someone in control it's not mine, it's not my sight to fix on an old start a reprise, forever pulling back on a tone's arm so run in place, and close the doors count the toes and pull that panic chord once more the last chime, cracked from a firearm off the hillside still time, last dance to the fire alarm and collapse tired (but) don't tell me when it's time to go.
10.
slips by 05:42
first moment, the morning tries who was that dream by? carry sight back to the lakeside walk along with the old body holding out to catch the word descending but it slips by slips by grasping out at the second run couldn't stand to show someone laid by my side, the hint i'm reaching for i hide in the mouth of a gift horse and i know it's not the same place at all light bends around the black holes slips by
11.
no fingers 04:36
seven years and the night keeps coming back twenty miles on the back of a motor bike the curtains are tethered down and i don't know why and i got no fingers, no fingers to pry the strong and wasted fools make another game i looked like a ghoul standing the rain i came all this way and couldn't take the prize and i got no fingers, no fingers to try and i got no fingers, no fingers to try behold, the holy traffic light! a thousand spinning gears in a perfect line i found the perfect sound to let the clouds roll by but i got no fingers, no fingers to try i got no fingers, no fingers to try last to climb into the belly of the beast a quiet place to listen to the bluebird sleep (i've got a thousand arms that can tell the time) but i got no fingers, no fingers to try i got no fingers, no fingers to try.

about

"coming from the fifth level of the sky,
the head of the dragonfly,
the head covering it's worms.
it bit the hand of the unfettered creator,
the unfettered darkness.
it licked the blood in the sweat bath,
it licked the blood in the stone hut.
Now then, throw it to the demented creator,
the demented darkness."
-the ritual of the bacabs

credits

released March 31, 2023

written, performed, and recorded (tracked/mixed/mastered) by me, derek smith, in my bedroom.
john hoblin plays drums on spooky mulder.
mike gagliardi plays french horns on fire alarm.
mixed and mastered with help from joe zajack, who also provided
engineering and equipment.
cover art is public domain, but edited by paul motisi.

too many people to thank, incomplete list; nikki (<3), lulu (thanks for being cool with the noise), mark and lauren (who can now hear the instruments all at once instead of one at a time), teddy, mister pants, KAS, sweaty mike, gary o'keefe, johnny and joe, paul, and joe z (literally couldn't have made this without). thanks to everyone else who has encouraged and supported me in the process of making this, and thanks for listening.

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Not New York

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